LOST CHAPTER: Read the excerpt "That big Ten Commandments monument has been removed from the courthouse in Alabama.It's been replaced, I believe, with eight simple rules for dating my daughter." "The book 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter is hysterically funny and universally entertaining.I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. In short, Michael’s rules, well, rule and I’m working to incorporate them into my parenting agenda for the next decade or so. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter? Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you? You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.is an owner's manual for anyone who once had cute little girls and now has teenage daughters and is trying to figure out what happened.Or maybe you've got a little girl, and are trying to figure out how to prevent her from becoming a teenager.
Beginning with the warning signs (#5: Your car insurance suddenly costs more than the car), the book covers dating (Rule #2: Keep your hands and eyes off my daughter's body or I will remove them), the telephone (seemingly wired to her nervous system), braces (the costliest metal on earth), the first job, and more.(Good luck.) Or maybe you once were a teenage daughter.Or maybe you have an antique table that's crooked and need something about an inch thick to put under one of the legs. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.It was the inspiration for the ABC show 8 Simple Rules, starring the late John Ritter.