Dating as a polyamorous woman brings with it a lifetime's worth of misconceptions and jealousies.
Add a few extra layers of fat to that experience, and things can get depressing real fast.
You don’t have to make any calculations about the height of your heels. Yes, it makes sense to narrow your pool of potential suitors based on what you value — it’s very reasonable to look for someone with a basic understanding of grammar, for example — but too long a list of non-negotiables can blind you to people who could make you very happy. If you "only date" men at least 6 feet tall, you’re shooting yourself in the foot as far as selection. Dating shorter can help you get over your own insecurities about size.
On the episode of the daytime game show she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to answer a rather loaded statement: “Name a reason a woman might decide to be with a chubby [or fat] man.” This, as one might imagine, ends up being a rather humorous round for the contestants, Steve Harvey, and the audience.
As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can't tell you how often I've been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I'm into what I'm into.
If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I'm fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.
This launches her into an inspired monologue about the many ways in which being an overweight woman is being worse than an overweight guy. And yet you would never date a girl like me.” It’s a cutting point: Louie, the very embodiment of portliness and schlumpiness, sees himself as somehow above women who are overweight. They’re conditioned to see themselves as beneath So is she, right? “Men and women do differ on how much their assessment of physical attractiveness is influenced by body weight,” said Eli Finkel, a relationship and attraction expert at Northwestern University, in an email.
It’s unfair, she complains, that overweight guys often vie for slimmer women, ignoring women like her. “If you were standing over there, looking at us, you know what you’d see? “Men tend to prefer skinny women, whereas women tend to prefer medium-sized men.
As men tend to have greater status in society than women, they can trade this for more attractive mates.” Yes, women have (somewhat) closed the money-and-power gap with men, but stereotypes are tough to dislodge, and they “still significantly impact our perceptions of others,” Harman said.