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To all the parents of divorce using their kids as pawns: I'm writing out of concern for many kids and their saddened parents who have to deal with grown adults acting like angry babies thanks to divorce. Having a peaceful divorce doesn't mean there's never any tension between the two of us; it just means we handle that tension with class. Some people waste their lives trying to sabotage their ex's lives, which only hurts the children in the long run and gives these jerks bad karma for their hurtful actions.

I should probably tell you first that I'm getting a divorce from a man who is a fantastic father. You're probably wondering, "What does she mean by using kids as a pawn? You blame your kids' mother or father by using the word "your" with disdain.

Go ahead and lick your wounds but do not let your bad feelings keep your kids from having a relationship with the other parent.

You think you're getting one over on that jerk or black widow spider, but the only one that's truly hurt in this vindictive process is your children.4.

It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.

Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce.

Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are.Whether it's to save you from barking up the wrong tree or to verify that your partner isn't still married, if you pay attention and do a little digging, there are many ways to find out if a person is divorced.Divorce isn't a game, so stop treating your kid like a pawn. Divorce isn't a fair or a circus (well, it might be a circus sometimes) and it's not the most fun thing I've ever gone through, but despite how tough divorce can be, my ex and I still make our daughter and her well-being our sole focus. No, but for the most part we do, and we try to work together as best we can.They had rows when he was a teenager, slamming doors and the like.When my brother was 17, Dad cut him out of his life completely.Don't complain to your children; they're not your therapists. You squash all attempts for your ex to spend time with the kids. I say "his" because more often than not, but not always, the mother has more custody time than the father.

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